


Please Don't Make Me Kill You

by orphan_account



Series: Challenge on Infinite Earths: Rosemary Edition [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 23:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The asteroid enters a dream bubble that emulates the desert that surrounds what once was Kanaya's hive. Kanaya and Rose are on there way to Kanaya's hive when they encounter the Heinous Broods of the Undead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Don't Make Me Kill You

You and Rose are at the library reading each other’s erotica for “research purposes” when the asteroid you’re on rumbles and shakes, signalling its entering into a dream bubble.

You stand up from the couch you and Rose were using, as you’d rather not fall flat on your ass like you did the first time you entered a dream bubble. It was embarrassing and painful and you’d rather not bring it up, thank you very much.

You watch idly as the walls of the laboratory dissolve into nothing, along with the furniture. Their disappearance slowly reveals light pink sand, and, as you’re the only troll who has lived in the desert, you’re assuming this dream bubble is attuned to one of _your_ memories.

This assumption is quickly confirmed by the sighting of the ribbitbeast temple ruins far off into the distance. You spy farther away the towers which you once considered your hive. Nostalgia hits you harder than that bookshelf Dave accidentally knocked over that one time. Once again, another painful event, but you relish the look on Dave’s face when you brought out your chainsaw. Anyway.

“I’m assuming this bubble is from one of your memories?” Rose asks you.

“Affirmative. Look,” you say, pointing to your twin towers, “you can even see my hive from here.”

“Ah, yes. I can only see vague shapes, but it holds promise of wonderful architectural design. The globes are a nice touch.” You see her smirk at the end of that sentence, and you can’t help but wonder if it was an innuendo of some sort.

“That last bit wasn’t referring to something inappropriate was it?”

You notice Rose squinting her eyes. “I apologize. Growing up reading Freud makes anything even just slightly phallic in nature—worse if accompanied by spherical objects—amusing. It doesn’t help that one of my best friends-slash-ectobrother is Dave Strider.”

She shades her eyes with her hand and begins walking towards your hive. You keep in step.

“Are you okay Rose?”

“I’m fine, Kanaya. It’s just…the Alternian sun is much hotter and brighter than I expected. No wonder why trolls are usually nocturnal.”

“It’s quite unfortunate that you feel that way.”

You take in the warmth of the sun. You feel the light shine down on your face, and you receive the gentle heat it’s radiating with a satisfied smile. You feel as if you’re being slowly charged, and every second that passes by makes you feel even more rejuvenated. You missed this so much.

You turn back to her as she puts on the hood of her godtier outfit. “Kanaya, hold my hand, please, and lead the way. You know I can see fuck-all with this.”

She holds out her right hand and you take it with your left. Your fingers intertwine. It feels…really nice.

You sigh.

“I feel like I am in one of your human paradises.”

“That makes one of us.”          

You’d be amused at how something making you feel so good is making Rose feel so uncomfortable if Rose wasn’t so uncomfortable.

“It’s less than an hour away,” you say, softly squeezing her hand.

“That’s not as reassuring as you intended it to be, Kanaya, but I appreciate the effort.”

You smile, and you and Rose walk in silence for several more minutes.

As you approach your hive, you see figures lumbering around, across the space between you and your destination.

Well fuck.

“Okay. Uh, Rose. Do you see that?”

“Is it worth exposing my eyes to excruciating sunlight?”

“Sort of.”

You let go of her hand and watch her lift her godtier hood and squint.

“Are those…zombies?”

“Is that the human term for Heinous Broods of the Undead?”

“Basically.”

“Then yes. Those are troll zombies.”

You take out your lipstick in preparation.

“Rose, do you think you can fly from here to my hive?”

“No, especially with a passenger in tow. I suppose we’ll have to walk through this, then.”

“Unfortunately. Also, killing—with quotation marks around the word killing since these are the Undead—these troll zombies will prove extremely difficult with your knitting needles, and I forbid you from even thinking of using the Thorns of Oglogoth.”

“I am even more adamant than you are of never using dark magic again Kanaya, believe me. And I do have my needlewands, don’t worry about me dear. How do you “kill” a troll zombie?”

“Good. Anyway, what I usually do is cut them in half. It may sound easy, and it is at first, but they are drawn to the living, which you, at least, technically are. The numbers surrounding you seem to multiply exponentially, so I suppose it’s best you take them out with your needlewands while they’re some distance away. I’m stuck with a close-range weapon, but I’ll manage.”

Rose smirks. “We’re doing this, man. We’re making this happen.”

You arch an eyebrow at her for an explanation.

“Remind me later to make Dave introduce you to his masterpiece.”

“Uh, okay, I guess.”

The two of you walk towards the undead. Rose uses her magic to slice the first few in half once they get within a two meter radius, but once the troll zombies notice you’re here, the pace starts picking up, and soon you have a chainsaw roaring in your hands.

The first one you slice though sends a jolt running through your arms. It’s been a while since you actually used your chainsaw, and you’d rather not remember what you did with it back then. Still, the feeling is familiar. You recognize the slicing of metal teeth through the tough exoskeleton, and the tearing of decaying muscle. Your first troll zombie for today is in two pieces, but there’s still plenty more where that came from.

You tear, slice, and chop your way through numerous undead bodies as if they were made of churned moobeast milk. At the same time, you and Rose walk steadily towards your hive.

Rose zaps and whacks and you slice and dice for half an hour, and if the two of you weren’t above mortality you’d probably be worn down by now. As it is, you’re holding your own pretty well.

That is, until Rose gets bitten.

You didn’t even know at first, because hordes and hordes of the undead keep coming and you have no fucking idea where they’re coming from. Aside from that, the two of you needed to distance yourselves to prevent you from accidentally attacking the other.

You knew when Rose started shouting.

“Kanaya! I need you to kill me!”

“What?!” you shouted back, as you divorced a troll zombie’s head and body.

“I’ve been bitten, and I’d rather not risk what happens when a godtier player gets infected by alien zombie spores! I’m sure resurrecting will purge whatever the fuck this is!”

You try to move closer to her, but the zombie wave is endless.

“I’m coming, but why can’t you kill yourself?” You will if you truly need to, but you do not, _do not_ , want to kill your matesprit.

“I don’t know if the game considers suicide a just death.”

You bite your lip. Looks like you’ll have to do it.

You run towards Rose, cutting a path through the zombie mob and jumping over lying corpses. You can see the bitemark on Rose’s shoulder, as well as the greying flesh around it, and you and Rose make a two meter radius clearing before you do the deed.

You look into her eyes and she gives a slight nod. Immediately after that you swing your chainsaw right through her abdomen, and maybe you should have cut off her head instead, because not only is there _so_ much blood, but her internal organs are spilled all over the desert floor.

You try not to puke and you hold back the tears because you still have zombies to fight. You fight faster and harder so that they don’t get within half a meter of Rose. You have to remind yourself over and over again that this is neither a just nor a heroic death, and that you’ve never seen a godtier player revive yet so it’s merely taking longer than you thought it would.

(The game has fucked you over so many times before; it wouldn’t be a stretch to classify this death as either just or heroic.)

(You try not to entertain that thought.)

You don’t know how long you’ve been fighting alone when the ground behind you suddenly glows. You turn into a vicious machine again, hacking and slashing until there’s another two meter clearing. You transform your chainsaw into a lipstick and pocket it, then face Rose to find her looking dazed but otherwise none the worse for wear and carry her human bridal style. She’s bigger than you, so it takes a little time to find a position that you’re sure will prevent you from dropping her, but when you do you use all your rainbowdrinker strength and speed to run to your hive. She blasts away the undead with her needlewands, but that doesn’t prevent the fatigue from beginning to seep in. Still, you eventually reach the gate of your hive, and once you’re in you put down Rose, close the goddamn door and lock it up. The two of you check the grounds for any signs of zombies, and when it comes up clear you turn to Rose and pull her in for a deep kiss.

You kiss long and you kiss hard, and when you pull out of the kiss your arms are around her neck and hers around your waist when you look her in the eyes and plead, “Please, never make me kill you again.”

She smirks and says, “I can’t promise if you kiss me like that after every time.”

It’s when this happens that the ground starts shaking and you watch your hive grounds turn into Rose’s room, which is actually a welcome surprise for once. You want to be frustrated that you were never even able to show Rose around your hive, especially after that emotionally draining incident, but you’re too happy that she’s alive to even try doing that.

You strip off your blood soaked outer garments while she does the same with her godtier outfit, and you drag her with you into her bed and kiss her on the lips gently, once, twice, thrice, because you are just so, _so_ happy that she’s alive.

After that, you just lay your head on the pillow and just, just take her in.

You don’t know what you’d do if you actually did lose her, omnipotent beings help you.

Rose reaches out a hand and softly caresses your face. You close your eyes, and you ask, in a voice barely above a whisper, how it felt like to die.

She replies, with the same volume, that you killed her in an instant, and that the moment of pain was balanced by how good she felt when she was revived.

You ask her how she felt emotionally, and she chuckled lightly about how you were more emotionally traumatized than she was. You smile at that, but you’re already half passed out.

You tell her you love her. You hear her say I love you too, right before you fall asleep.

 


End file.
